Emotionally Raw

Unfulfilled Fill In

2012-02-12T10:28:00.001-05:00

What's really the point in a fill in if it doesn't really fill in? What is the point of a substitute if it doesn't really do the job?

I signed up for a night of pure casual sex no strings attached. My body was craving the feel of another in a very intimate, sensuous way. I was looking for satisfaction of physical. I needed to unload.

Who was I fooling I thought to myself after they left. This isn't what I want, countless nights of visits from merely bodies no real or true connection. Sex is sweet but nothing without emotions. I use to be able to detach myself from any kind of emotional attachment and sex as much as I wanted feeling ok with myself. Is it my age? Is it because I've realized my value? Is it because I truly crave for something more?

Maybe it is a combination of all those things. One thing's for sure and that is there really isn't a substitute for love and companionship. I can't continue like this. I can't stay frozen with my heart. I can't sex my way through this period in my life.

I have to do something about this. I must take this one for the team, #TEAMLOVE!

As the late Whitney Houston said,"I'm saving all my love." There's to much of me to place in the wrong hands. I truly walk in wholeness now and I can no longer separate my dick from my heart and the rest of me. We are now one moving forward as a force. I grew up and so much more matters to me.

Am I A Coward ?

2012-02-04T15:53:00.002-05:00

What does it feel like to be trapped in yourself, can't let anyone in and you can't get out yourself ?

I could answer this. It feels horrible. It gets frustrating. I even feel hopeless sometimes. Where did the old me go? He was so happy, full of life, full of joy, just wanting love. Now the very thing I always wanted scares the living day lights out of me. I never envisioned myself to be shadowless. I never thought I would be only me, just me, no mate, no companion, no love interest....just me. However, this is my story.

It hurts to be where I am. I keep trying to f5 my life and it is refreshed. Yet alot of what I don't want to see or feel still exists. Yes, I have encouraged myself. I believe a better day can come but sometimes I feel like I'm on the roller coaster of love and I have a permanent ride and I will never get off.

When people meet me and show genuine interest its refreshing but I feel like I can't do this. It's not that I'm running but more so choosing to stay in a place that I feel I need to be. I'm still acknowledging what happened. You have no idea what its like to wake up everyday and realize someone you thought you knew you didn't. It's shocking and devastating. I often wonder will I ever really know people for who they truly are or will I always have to be on guard and prepared for their inner monster. But new people shouldn't have to pay for old people's debt. Nevertheless, honestly they are the ones who receive the after effects of a painful situation. It feels like I'm hurting people because I can't function love wise. What a sad feeling. Take my time or just give it time...is that what you are saying? Trust me I get it!

Once you felt a certain type of pain and you've reached a level of being hurt you can't see yourself ever vulnerable to that again. Love, can you beat in my heart again as pure as you once did. Can we find peace in meeting new people? Undress me of fear and give me the courage to love. I am a coward.

F5 = REFRESH

2012-02-01T13:24:00.000-05:00

Whoever came up with the key F5 had no idea how much this would really impact us. When you are at work or home and you press F5 it's because you need to refresh the screen due to something missing that didn't fully load or maybe there was an error message. Either way, you opt for F5 for a better outlook at what you need to be looking at.

How does one move forward and truly create a path forward without acknowledging where he has been?

My personal page in life and love appeared to me but it wasn't fully loaded as well as it had error messages. I looked around and I noticed some things were gone. I also read the error messages. There were error messages that I had never seen before. I didn't know what they meant. However, I knew there had to be more to the picture of love and life I was looking at of myself. I decided to press the F5 (REFRESH) for me.

Refreshing it truly became after pressing that button. I saw what was left. The errors were auto corrected. My page of life and loved was refreshed and complete.

Sometimes life gets crazy and it seems you can't find your way. Hell, I thought before once I was on my way only to find that path was laced with deceit and trickery. It wasn't for me! I had to find the correct road to travel. The one that was designed for me. I prayed for clarity and guidance. My prayers were answered and my life was F5'd.

How many adjectives would it take for you to understand how tragically broken was my heart. Words couldn't even do it any justice. Life in my heart seem to disintegrate into thin air, leaving my heart breathless. Yet, I refuse to believe that this page in my heart was fully loaded. There had to be more! It was apparent that error messages in my heart could be corrected. They had to be corrected. A couple of days ago I felt my heart break through the long lasting coma it was in. My heart began to breathe. It was F5'd, refreshed!

Just For Tonight!

2012-01-10T21:55:00.001-05:00

Loneliness lied to the left of me and all my emotional disconnections lied on the right. I held onto loneliness tonight feeling more empty than I did before we embraced. However, here I was. This was my place tonight. This was my position.

For a moment I rolled over to emotions I once felt that were now disconnected from me. I remember love. I remember smiling because of him. I remember pillow talk and watching him walk to the bathroom. Sexiness in motion. I didn't forget his pain. I didn't neglect his poison, Was this the fate of every encounter I was suppose to have? Love to pain?

I needed something tonight. It was raining, slightly cold yet you could feel a certain amount of heat from my vents. Yet something was missing. Companionship ran back and forth through my mind. It danced, played, immitated musical notes from everything that spelled happiness.

I was okay with being by myself except for the nights when it wasn't okay to be by myself. I wanted tonight like nights I've had before. I wanted the kind of night I saw on TV on a B Movie that was reallly good but didn't make it to the Big Screen. I wanted tonight like the song the underground artist sings as she carry her EP in her backpack for sell after her open mic performances.

I wanted to be free in emotion with companionship tonight. I wanted to smile at he and he whisper to me. I wanted love just for tonight!

You Vs. Them (Love or My Assignment)

2012-01-02T12:03:00.000-05:00

You belong to me, I belong to them….That line ran through mymind over a thousand times. I held ontoone pillow, ironically we never grab two, always one pillow to hold. Was this a true representation of my ownlife? I could only have one, him orthem. He wanted my heart, he wanted tolove me, he wanted to be with me,… forever he said. How? I have an assignment. This assignment requires a lot from me somuch of me that anyone in my personal space could possibly become jealous. You belong to me but I do belong to them.

I am a voice for a nation of people. I am a reason for many people. I am hope for a group of people. I come to offer pieces of freedom for peopleemotionally caged and in bondage. I haveto save the world. I have to do myassignment. In order to be rated leadingin my performance evaluation I must share my stories. What was once secrets and of privacy for memust now become public information. Thethought of embarrassment is far from my mind, but he says if they have all ofthis from you what do I get from you? He belongs to me but I belong to them,who do I let win?

Why the very last thing we do is the very first thing weshould do….PRAY! I asked God what do Ido? Will I be alone? Will there ever be anyone that can handlebeing by my side while I try to heal the world through words. Is it truly a “You vs. Them” situation? I have to choose either the love of my lifeor saving the world? God spoke veryclear to me and said the one I have created for you is built to handle what Isent you to do and he would be all you need him to be.

The Soundtrack to my 2011

2012-01-02T09:01:00.002-05:00

What was the best way to sum up my 2011 I thought to myself. Should I write a poem, a blog, or an article? What could tell a story? The emotions I felt, my highs and lows, fears and concerns, how could I communicate this? A soundtrack!

Click Here to Download the Soundtrack to my 2011
1.Beyonce - End of Time: I met him and I wanted to love. I was more than willing to love wholely, not just parts of him but all of him. I just wanted to be with him.
2.Adele - One and Only: He was hurt but I offered my love, I challenged him to allow me to be his one and only. I knwo its not easy giving up your heart. I tried to make him feel comfortable to do so.
3.Toni Braxton - Why You Won't Love Me: After months of trying to have this certain type of love I envisioned for us, it wasn't given. I didn't understand. We had a connection, a unique connection. I begin to do a self inventory check to try to understand am I hendering him from loving me the way I need to be loved.
4.Drake - Karoake: Having love and chasing dreams can sometimes not work hand and hand. People live for the exclusivity of a person. What if my dream was to heal the world and I shared me with the world, he felt like we had nothing special because so many people had me in a sense. Sometimes the spotlight can be scary for the one you love.
5.Frank Ocean - There Will Be Tears: I begin to realize I couldn't be with him. Yet i thought I could still dream of what we could have and maybe things would change. That was only a good idea but not reality. There were tears. How do you let go what you want to hold on too.
6.Keri Hilson - Beautiful Mistake: I truly followed my heart and I fell in love yet we gave it a go and it blew out of control. Sometimes I often wish we never crossed certain lines. However it is what it is!
7.Lil Wayne feat. T-Pain - How to Hate: Ever gave all of you, stayed in the fight, exerted all patience possible to only end up with nothing but their butt to kiss. So much for being the perfect couple!
8.Kanye West & Malik Yusef feat. Jennifer Hudson - Too Knight: After the love, life seem to be pretty dark. Its amazing what comes from the night, maybe a knight. I met one.
9.Shanell - Save Me: I felt like love had stabbed me in my back. I was dying from everything I believed in, he saved me.
10.Nicole Wray - Lost: At this point I had no sense of direction with the knight that had appeared in my life. One thing was certain for me I didn't mind being lost with him as long as something real could have been found.
11.RichGirl - For You: For his love I was commited to being there. I mean he saved me, it felt only right to shower him with something that I felt he could appreciate which was my love.
12.Chris Brown - Yesterday: One day something happened! It kept happening! Where we growing apart, NOOOOOO!!! How could this be I was once on a high, now I feel like its my funeral. The love is one :-(
13.Terrius Nash - Wake Me When Its Over: I felt embarrassed emotionally. I was proud of my knight. I told the world about my knight. Now we are no longer an item. This all had to be a bad dream.
14.Rihanna - Cold Case Love: The crime was "broken hearts" not from just me but from the both of them as well. The first guy says I was never suppose to be there. Did I break in his heart and push him to a place he just couldnt be. I killed his comfort zone and in turn he broke my heart. My knight knew he saved me but wasn't sure if I was really free from the first. He investigated my love and offended my heart. He didn't know enough. The silence of situations drove him to unthinkable places. The song says the truth is there all alone how did you miss it.
15.Keyshia Cole - Sometimes: How can one not reflect on everything and take a look in the mirror. I needed to know what was my part. What did they see and didn't see.
16.Jhene Aiko - You vs Them: If they could have it their way, they would probaly silence me, my story. I owe it to the world. Everything I go through isn't about me its about a nation of people that will bleed in the same place that i bled, the people that will feel the same pain as I did. I am here to help those people. For the love of them I would have had to choose my assignment or their love. At the end of the day that was a war I wasn't going to fight. He said I belong to you but I belong to them (the people who need me). How can I win?

This Is It!

2011-12-29T19:29:00.001-05:00

How doyou make sense of someone’s illogical behavior, you can’t. I exhale my lastbreath of disappointment, frustration, border line hatred for all of youroffensive actions. How can you see anyone else’s feelings or situation if youreyes are turned inward? I expected for you to understand my position and how Ihave to deal with the road we walked. The same road that you decided to veerfrom as you remembered love from somewhere else. As I opened up and sharedmoments with you, you got up from our playground and sat down with someone.Maybe, you two connected more?

I useto think you were an angel until I felt the pain you give. Innocently, you sayyou don’t know what I am talking about you as you drag people in and out ofyour undefined life. You say you are so confused and caught up with theemotional struggles dealing you’re your family and major life decisions.However, you manage to make time to connect with other people. I tried tounderstand and make sense out of your illogical way of doing things to onlyrealize there is no logic to it. I’ve mistaken the color of your wings to bewhite and pure, and then I remembered I am colorblind. I must be, because whatkind of angel will lace you with the feelings from the high heaven and send youemotionally drowning in hell. You have so much potential but the shallowness ofyour soul and the pain from him before has changed you. It has altered you frombeing who you were supposed to be.

Iwanted you to see what a warrior of love is. However, you were unworthy to knowabout that kind of love because your heart wasn’t pure. I acted out unselfishlyfor your benefit and never to throw it in your face, but to be respected forit. I jeopardized where I wanted to be, because you said you need me as afriend. I stayed there in that seat as a friend and watch you connect over andover again with different men. I wondered why not we? I remembered when wefirst met we decided to not label what it is we were doing. Now here I amholding the sign titled, “Friend” as you continue to connect and connect. Itseems to be a cycle and nothing changes until we do. I have seen how youbrought me into your life with a little hope inside that maybe one day we candance to the same rhythm and the same dream you sold to me I’ve watched yousell it to others. They have no idea that your world is turned around and yourheart is nowhere to be found. Is it fair to pull them in andhurt them because you seek temporary satisfaction or a band-aid just for thenow for your wounded heart? You refuse to look at the bigger picture and how itwill affect them and how these actions affect your character.

A deadly weapon you are because you’re easy onthe eyes and can conversely bring forth a surprise. The true story of who youare is so twisted and messed up you don’t even know how to heal yourself trulybecause you keep going through life getting a temporary solution to a permanentproblem. The candy you sell ever thought of telling the truth. Tell them thecost of dealing with you. This is it, this is where I move on with what's for me!

The Lexi Show Interview (I was on)

2011-12-10T09:02:00.004-05:00

The Vision Church of Atlanta
Bishop O.C.Allen III

Part 1

Part 2

Hungry Eyes

2011-12-10T08:07:00.000-05:00

I was starving for something

I was in need of something

I could see it

Hell, I could taste it

I keep staring at it

This vision of mine

This momemnt of mine

This time, this time

Nothing will be left behind

Something Back!

2011-11-26T16:58:00.001-05:00

One day your standing in the middle of the road and don't know where you're going..

all of a sudden your whole life changes,

life finally gives you something back,

its been a mean world without you

I PROMISE!

2011-11-26T16:41:00.000-05:00

So many lonely nights, I dreamed, of guys like u, only to wake up, and find, that my dreams, were never answered, but NOW, I found u and I promise, to never leave u, I mean it, I promise, not to give u up and nobody could never take me from u I promise......

THINKING

2011-11-26T16:35:00.000-05:00

DO U NOT think so far ahead cause I've been thinking about forever.

That Night

2011-11-25T00:02:00.000-05:00

That night, we talked about many things. We shared our hopes, our fears, our dreams. We laughed, we wanted to cry, we played. That night, we loved. With our minds and souls.

Sometimes it lasts in love and sometimes it hurts instead....

2011-11-24T14:15:00.000-05:00

Sometimes it lasts in love and sometimes it hurts instead. That line marinated on my brain for what felt like eternity. It spoke volumes to me. This statement held more truth and clarity than I was willing to admit. The final destination of love is always undetermined. Yet we hope for a certain outcome. How do you accept the ultimate success of your works knowing that it could end up resulting in something else. Love! Sometimes it lasts in love and sometimes it really hurts instead.

LOVE

2011-10-25T11:01:00.001-04:00

Love is a powerful thing and something you truly can't deny once you feel it.....

Transparency...rarity?

2011-10-25T11:00:00.001-04:00

How transparent are you to the people you love? Most relationships fail be it friendships..family..or romantic ones because of the lack of transparency. If you can't be who you are, how do you expect people to love you for who you are.

Green Light

2011-10-25T10:59:00.001-04:00

Life doesn't stop we do...The light is always GREEN yet we change it to RED... I don't want LIFE to PASS ME BY............

Turn your "I Wish" to "I Did"....#NoRegrets

2011-10-25T10:57:00.000-04:00

Life is full of opportunities. Its amazing how we seize at them. The fear of failure and fear of success has prevented not only myself but many others from doing what they want to do. Take a second and think about the last time you said "I Wish" I had did xyz.

Everyday there's at least one person living with a regret. Someone wishing they would have moved to that city. There is someone wishing they had wrote that book. There is someone wishing they were still in college. Another person wishing they opened up a beauty salon. I know someone is wishing they were more concerned about their reputation. Someone also is wishing they had never left that relationship. There are so many things we want to do but we are way to submissive to fear to do it. I encourage everyone to break free from fear and stop living with regrets.

It's time to turn your "I Wish" to "I Did". Honestly, there isn't anything you can't do!

We All Make Mistakes

2011-04-26T20:30:00.000-04:00

We all make mistakes so let's not keep count!

Can you be sensitive in an insensitive moment? How often do you remember the last time you made a mistake in the midst of watching someone else make a mistake? Are you the one that becomes self righteous looking down on the one making the mistake presently? Are you the one who humbles themselves and finds a moment to relate and use that opportunity to encourage the one who made the mistake? Where are your acts of love and kindness in those moments? None of us are perfect and we all fall short sometimes. When you have done wrong or made a terrible mistakes what is the reaction you desire from someone else? Do you react in the same way when someone has done you wrong?

There are some people who waits for the times you mess up so they can make a note. Some people honestly keep count. Should you keep count? Is there a limit to mistakes? Can you only make x amount of mistakes towards someone or is it okay for one to make many mistakes and they can be forgiven?

I find myself sometimes forgetting I've made the same mistakes as others. I develop a feeling about them and their decisions. I publicly apologize because I have become judgmental in some sense and I have carried out as if I 'm not human.

We all make mistakes so let's not keep count!

STRANGER: Yet I Know You

2011-04-25T21:46:00.000-04:00

I heard someone say I meet him everyday. The same guy. He has a familiar smile. He has a familiar walk. He has a familiar dress. Yet, he said he is a different. You never knew his name but you knew him.

Jamie Foxx said he always seem to fall for the same type. Since there is constant falling it's possible that he may want to change his type.

I think we get sold to a brand. We build this "TYPE" of guy in our head and we want that, only that. The crazy thing is you find this brand of guy here and there, mostly everywhere and you have received the same outcome each and every time.

If you want a different result, do something different. The guy walks up and the approach is very familiar. It's what we have always liked. Before he can say his name and what he do and where he lives. You knew it already. Even though he is a stranger, you know this guy. Yet you continuously date him and try to build something with him. You like to act as if you don't know his name. You prefer to call him "NEW" but you know him very well. His name has always and will always be "No Good for You." Yet you still keep trying to take your one and his zero and make two, when he's clearly not for you.

The stranger the same guy you keep meeting over and over again and you never seem to win. You know him and what he is about. Don't you want to meet DIFFERENT?

What Drives You

2011-04-25T21:20:00.001-04:00

What drives you? Seriously, what drives you? Is it the car or truck they drive? Is it the part of town they live in? Is it the amount of money they make? Is it the labels on their back and feet? Is it about their body? Is it about the size of their dick? is it the fatness of their butts? What drives you?

What drives me?

One's ability to love....#UnconditionalLove

I've been in circles with different people of different levels of association and it seems as if love isn't one of the top three drivers. Yet, Love is the one thing that can outlast any and everything that you could possibly name.

So I ask what drives you? As you sit at home and get online and maybe flirt with your Facebook friends, and you go from profile to profile on A4A...what drives you? Does loneliness find you at the end of every night. Is it possible that what drives you is driving you to loneliness and void. Living a shallow life or searching for fulfillment in things that have no substance can leave you pretty empty.

What drives you?

Why You Should Love

2011-04-25T10:23:00.001-04:00

Love someone not because they give you what you need...Instead, love them because they give you feelings you never thought you needed or could feel....

You

2011-03-22T07:16:00.001-04:00

If I was LESS ME, Could YOU be MORE YOU?
You can't see who you amount to be and who you are in your fullness because you keep staring at me.
Honestly there are no comparisons, there is no competition.
I am who I am as you are who you are. How can you compete with me when we are all uniquely made in the image of God. No two people are just alike not even identical twins. The only true competition is yourself. I am in a fight everyday with me to be the me I am destined to be.

I encourage everyone to be whoever you are and be the best you. There's only one you embrace that!

Leading, Following

2011-03-22T06:54:00.001-04:00

What do u do when you are leading by example but the people that you love don't follow suit? You keep Leading...soon a Change will come!

Then someone said," You have to ask yourself, is your leading by example the right way?" Sometimes you may have to pull over and follow suit.

Every great leader was a great follower!

You Want A Good Man?

2011-03-05T20:01:00.001-05:00

I hear so many people say they want a Good Man. The thing is honestly some people don't have a clue how to appreciate, maintain, nor love a Good Man. The reason is because they have yet to Be A Good Man to themselves.

I hear so many people expressing their wishes for external satisfaction and internally they are deteriorating. Everything starts at home with you first. You must understand yourself. You must know how to nurture yourself. You MUST be happy within. You must know how to self heal, self respect and self love first.

You say you want a Good Man when you treat yourself like shit!

A New Dawn

2011-03-05T12:24:00.001-05:00

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending..." For today is my new dawn...

I read this on someone special to me Facebook page and it spoke volumes.

How many times have we wished we could just simply...GO BACK AND START OVER! Have you ever been playing game, holding a conversation, dating someone, or even relocating to another city and said, "I WISH I COULD GO BACK AND START OVER"
Unfortunately, we cant! However, what we can do is create a new ending. However your life started and you are not happy with, you have the ability to change it. Your past doesn't predict or dictate your ending. If things are not going in the direction you prefer...CHANGE IT!

At any moment in your life you can begin constructing and rebuilding your future.

Personally, I've made some poor decisions, bad choices, and done some things that I shouldn't have done. I've went places knowing better, got placed in situations that I knew I needed to get out of. I've felt trapped and chained and stuck with what I was calling my life, my morning and then one day something happened for me. The alarm went off in my soul and I realize how it is, isn't how it has to be.

I'm walking into my new dawn................

LOVE love or HATE love

2011-03-05T11:59:00.000-05:00

Which are you? Do you LOVE LOVE or do you HATE LOVE? Someone said they HATE that they LOVE LOVE so much. Then someone says he HATE the way LOVE is represented.

The dictionary defines LOVE as:
a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties <maternal love for a child> (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests <love for his old schoolmates>

Its amazing that I used the Webster dictionary to see what their definition of love is. I am a bit bothered by the (2) definition : attraction based on sexual desire = which is basically saying LOVE is birth out of LUST (sexual desires).

The reason why we can't love ourselves let alone someone else is because the definitions provided publicly for what love is, is all screwed up.

One must love themselves before they can understand how to love someone else.
If you don't love who you are completely, if you have not fallen in love with yourself you will never be able to fall in love with someone else.

So when you say you LOVE LOVE....what are you really saying?
When you say you HATE LOVE....what are you feeling?
If you express that you HATE that LOVE LOVE so much where is the frustration and/or disappointment stemming from?
If you HATE how LOVE is represented...............what are you doing to show its true colors?

LOVE..............

Who's Watching You ?

2011-02-26T22:53:00.001-05:00

Funny how you may never know the true effect,

You may have on somebody else watching your life.

In your eyes they may see dreams

Hopes and aspirations that might help the ones

Who carried and fight their fight.

In the night they lay and think about

Maybe one day making it out,

Cause... they have you to follow through!..............These are the lyrics to Keyshia Cole's song "Sometimes."

Sometimes just the knowledge of knowing that someone else overcame the same obstacles they are faced with now is enough for one to keep pushing through. If someone was watching you...what would they see? Would they see hope and encouragement or judgment and jealousy?

Not Bitter but Better

2011-02-26T21:38:00.001-05:00

After the love is gone and the smoke has cleared and you see people for who they really were....How does that make you feel? I think its normal to feel disappointed or let down because they didn't manage to be who they said they were or do as they promised you. I use to be very vocal about my disappointments. I have even been physical about my disappointments. As I grew older and more mature I realized how inappropriate my behaviour was. I began to look at what really mattered.
By responding and retaliating in such a negative way I didn't realize that I was giving them power over me. I was allowing them to weather my emotions. I displayed no self control. I didn't do any self management.

Since those days I have dated and met new friends. those experiences has taught me even though things doesn't work out like you may want or like there is no reason to be bitter. It is no reason to feel short changed and bamboozled. I've learned how to be a better me. each encounter and interaction with someone is opportunity to be a better person.

I've decided to no longer feel bitterness towards anyone or any situation but to embrace the lessons to be learned. I now take those experiences and create a better me!

VIDEO: 10 things I look for in a mate

2011-02-14T23:21:00.000-05:00

Appreciate Connections!

2011-02-11T14:14:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I feel like I'm so out of this world with who and how I am. The way I see things. The way things process in my mind. I mean I can sit down and explain word by word how I feel and you would probably still look me in my face like WTF are u?

ife has truly taught me some things recently especially in a romantic sense. I am currently single and perfectly fine with that, but I have gained a wealth of information to help me become more successful the next time around. When I say that, that doesn't mean successful so far as having a long term relationship but successful in the sense of being honest with myself, setting the correct expectations, and managing my own emotions.

You learn which fights to fight, and which ones to let go. Sometimes we may not like something about a person and at those moments you have to ask yourself....do I like that them that much to tolerate this or is this so much of a problem that I can’t tolerate them. When you become a pair with someone you give up the I’s for the Us or We. Therefore some of the things that YOU may use to do may not be appropriate for you becoming an Us or a We. There’s no longer just you in the picture anymore there is someone else. You must acknowledge that. You have to learn how to work together to meet each other at the median when those disagreements arise. I am a very emotional person and very honest about my feelings. If I don’t like something you said or did I will tell you. What I am learning is to be more articulate about how I express what I have to say. Have you ever met someone that you just took a minute and Thanked God for this opportunity. That you can be yourself with all the attractive things as well as the not so attractive things showing and they are still into you. Beauty is so easy to find and let it alone easy to purchase. However, a genuine connection doesn’t happen that often. If you meet someone special...make sure you show them that they are special to you.

Your Investments

2011-01-14T23:21:00.001-05:00

Someone asked the question to the world, "Why do we make investments into markets that we know are going to crash?"

I thought about the question for a while. Then I thought about my answer to that question. I reflected to some investments I have made and they seem to be pretty good but then when I looked at it in a different light I really became puzzled.

Why do we make investments (time, energy, conversation, finances) into markets (people) that we know are going to crash (not good for us)?

I began to think about old friendships. I thought about people I dated. My mind threw me from year to year, memory to memory and all at once was a pile of excuses to the reason I made investments in markets that I knew was going to crash.

Could it be that I was being hopeful. I thought maybe things would change? Did I just want what I wanted? Had I become complacent and comfortable in the less than? No matter what the reason was I understood and was clear that this investment wasn't worth investing in but I continued, you continued, we continued. Why?

Now I asked the question to the world, "Why do we make investments into markets that we know are going to crash?"

Acceptance

2011-01-11T19:33:00.001-05:00

My personal journey for acceptance was definitely just that...a journey. I always felt out of place, different from any and everyone else around me. yet, I tried to find my place, my spot, my reason why i should be here. I grew up on a street where there were so many kids my age and we decided one day to grow up and be a rock band. We would sing, rap, dance, and look good. I was happy because I felt like I was apart of something. I tried to be the best male dancer on the street so I could have that title, that place on my street. I wanted to be accepted. As I entered Jr. High School I found myself getting into sports. I wanted to be apart of a team. I wanted that brotherhood. I played football and ran track, but what was odd even though I was good at both, there were still numerous times I felt like I didn't fit in. Then came my High School years and I didn't really know who my identity was but I knew I could dance. Dancing would be my attachment to who I was, so I searched out other male dancers to befriend. I didn't want to be alone. I wanted to fit in, anywhere just somewhere. When I graduated from school I found myself searching for the right crew that best represented me. Unfortunately, I came up short multiple times. There were times were I changed my morals and went against myself just to fit in. I found myself dating people I shouldn't, going places that I shouldn't go but I wanted to be apart of something..I wanted to fit in..I wanted to be accepted.
The day I surrendered my life to God he blessed me with several great friends all trying to be what God has called them to be. Our conversations are all the same we are on one accord. We want a better relationship with God. But when I look back over the last 30 years of my life and think about when I tried to be accepted..I already was. We search for acceptance in so many different realms but we forget that the most important person to accept us, accepted us before we were even created...GOD! I'm so thankful!

What feather do you share?

2011-01-03T21:14:00.000-05:00

There are three main types of bird feathers: the contour feathers, the down feathers, and flight feathers, each different in appearance and serving their own function for the bird.

1.Contour feathers
Contour feathers are the outer most colorful layers that most people are used to seeing. These feathers form the wings, the tail and body. Contour feathers not only give the bird its beauty but protect the bird from the elements of nature.

2.Down feathers
Down feathers have short shafts and many interlocking barbs. They are found directly underneath the bird’s contour feathers. The down feathers supply insulation by trapping air near the bird’s body. They are use to provide the comfort for the bird.

3.Flight feathers
Flight feathers are the feathers located on the wings and tail. There are primary flight feathers that on the bird would be equivalent to our hand. A bird also has secondary flight feathers which when comparing to a human would be our forearm. If you unfold the wing of a bird you will see the flight feathers. If you have a pet bird it is important if you don’t want the bird to fly free in the house to keep the primary flight feathers clipped. The primary flight feathers are the first five feathers on each wing of the bird. If you keep these trimmed a bird won’t be able to fly very far.

They say birds of a feather flock together. When your open to growth you can see transition in not just your life but in your friends. I have had the Contour feathers and the birds covered in them. I figured if I was attractive that I needed attractive friends. We needed to have an image, make a stamp in society. However, there was no substance to our friendship, just beauty.
I got a little older and began to experience life in its fullness. I danced with depression, shacked up with loneliness and even dated heavily the old popular person name pain. That journey led me to down feathered friends. They provided me comfort. They were there when I needed them. They had hugs, encouraging words, and fun times for me to take my mind away from what all I was going through.

Now, I am truly shifting into GREATNESS. There is a plan for my life, my voice, my words and I am ready for it. The birds that are flocking with me now share flight feathers. They are ready to fly far. They are ready to go as high as possible. They are ready to pay the price and become a purpose higher than any man can see; only a spiritual being could understand. I smile at myself as I spread my wings amongst the birds like me ready to go higher and higher.

What feather are you sharing right now? Where are you really traveling to? Birds of a feather flock together take a look around you and make sure you are with the right birds. If you have a flight feathers you have to be careful because there are some people who will cut your feathers to ensure you don't travel far so be careful. Look in the mirror, spread your wings and look at your feathers....what kind are they?

Live!

2011-01-03T20:45:00.002-05:00

Life is Amazing! You never know who you might meet and why. As we tend to believe that we can through life alone, this statement is so untrue. We have to see things, gain knowledge, and intake wisdom. You should be careful how you treat others, you never know what there in your life for. One should always look for the bigger picture. For instance, someone may bring your heartbreak, but there's a bigger experience than just the breaking of your heart. There is the lesson of forgiveness, appreciation of good times, the realization that you too can hurt. There's just so much more than what meets the eye. Open your eyes and really see. There is a reason why your life is your life, and mine is mine. Pay attention and began to really live, not just exist.

Happy New Year !

2011-01-02T16:28:00.000-05:00

It could never be a New Year for you until you have a New Mentality......if not your stuck on one long year until you change your mentality!

Mess = Message

2010-12-28T00:11:00.001-05:00

Take your own skeletons out the closet, put clothes on them and let them work in your favor. Make your Mess a Message! I know there is something in your life that you have survived. I know there is something in your life you overcame. The same things that slaved me and kept me emotionally hostage were the very things that now make me a stronger person. I decided the things I've done, places I've been, and the faces I have seen...it was for a reason. I decided to share many of my own personal stories not for anyone's sympathy. I didn't do it to become popular. I didn't do to expose others. I shared my stories hoping that someone, somewhere needed to hear that someone went through the same thing and made it. I was hoping that someone needed to not feel alone this time. I wanted to be a voice for those who couldn't speak. A walk of faith for those who needed an example. I took all the things that at one point of time in my life shame me and turn it into something beautiful with the intentions to reach others. We all have skeletons in your closet. We all have done some shameful, embarrassing things. We all have been hurt. Why not take a first step into healing yourself and providing healing for someone just like you.

VIDEO: I Can't Make You Love Me

2010-12-18T16:16:00.000-05:00

How do we end up here...feeling like we are the only ones who's heart is open. You are the same person I created all these memories with. You are the same person I shared secrets and stories with. We walked down this road together side by side. I was never ahead of you or you ahead of me. We were always on the same page. As we continued through this book of love we were creating your pages stopped flipping as mine flipped and flipped. Here I stood loving you and you not reciprocating those feelings. I recapped our entire journey trying to make you remember all the great things we did and moments we shared. I forwarded you emails of our discussions about how you felt about me. I sent picture messages of us at different places. I wanted them to love me back, just love me back. He became non responsive to all my attempts. I was just there in emotions alone. I called, I popped up with gifts. I did things to show them that I care and love them. He remained non responsive. Then it hit me. I can't make you love me. I can't make your heart feel something it don't.

The Maintenance Man Drone QUITS!

2010-12-17T20:41:00.000-05:00

Normally when I wasn't in the crazy world of dating I kept a Jump-Off for that sexual release. Well, the funny thing about this Jump-Off I am writing about found love, yet still call me for that Pressure Action. What was a man to do? I mean I loved that Push from them and we have crazy sexual chemistry. We knew the rules, the game, and the code words. Lunchtime Get-Ups were the best! We work across the street from each other and I live 2 exits away. How convenient! That's what I use to think.

Tonight, I received a series of text messages telling me they could get out and wanted to know if they could come over and get some Pipe Play. I became disgusted! I don't know if maturity kicked in or if its is because my mind is somewhere else, but I definitely declined. I thought about each person's angle in this situation. Now, ironically enough tonight was one of those nights I was feeling kind of lonely and wished for some companionship. I've been thinking alot lately as into what works for me and what doesn't. I can't be any one's Maintenance Man. I now only want to apply for a position were I can fully use all my skill sets and talents. I want to be able to use my knowledge as a tool to advance in my next job opportunity. The only job I see fit for me is one of someone's MAN! I can no longer be that Maintenance Man...the one you call for that hot good fix. I'm more than that and want more than that.

I use to think I was the Shit! because these people were in relationships and still calling me to blow their back out. Little did I see that I had become submissive to only being known and accepted for one shallow worth "D---". The life of a drone but you live, you learn. Right now I am in my Love- Spaceship listening for the one who wants to love me, all of me.

Are you a DRONE ?

2010-12-17T20:24:00.000-05:00

Drones are male honey bees. They mainly exists to mate. The drones' designed function is to fertilize a receptive queen. The drone is highly specialized in this field. Nature has given them extra-large eyes to ensure that they do not lose sight of the queen on the mating flight. They are stingless, defenseless, and unable to feed themselves-they are fed by worker bees. Drones have no pollen baskets or wax glands and cannot secrete royal jelly. Their one function is to mate with queensand shortly after doing so they die. Are you a drone?

We as gay men have surrendered to performing one function of just sex due to pain, abandonment, fear and plain cowardness. We decided to no longer serve any other purpose but bussing a nut. There are no connections to be built of substance. Drone males normally have a certain set of rules for living this drone life. The first rule means no exchange of a name, nothing to identify who they are as well as who you are, remember no attachments. The drone prefers no conversation, he doesn't want to get to know you only sexually engage with you. The third thing a drone does is never let the interactions even slightly become more than discussing when and where we are hooking up. Once again I ask, are you a drone?

VIDEO: SEX

2010-12-12T23:05:00.000-05:00

Self Love- no more settling

2010-12-11T07:54:00.001-05:00

It's all about falling in love with your own image of beauty. I know that I've been in a fight to love myself and experience reciprocity in relationships. I thought that a perfectly reciprocal relationship was an impossibility. That's the mentality of saying I can't have what I want no matter how hard I try. And you know you have to get through the fear. We have to do have to do something with the insecurity, ghosts, and demons that has been programmed in us for centuries. You have to master the voices, all the insecure and inadequate people who put garbage in our minds, soul, spirit, and psyche just so they can have you as they wished. You've got to break free of that crap! I haven't seen many people who came before me fight that war successfully. And when you don't see it, you don't really know if it can be done. Then I hear someone say that is what faith is for! Press forward into your destiny......

BOXES

2010-12-07T19:48:00.000-05:00

I discovered that people could only acknowledge red and blue and I was somewhere in between. I was purple. I had to fight for an identity that doesn't fit in any one's box. I wasn't just this. I wasn't just that. And even though I did this, I didn't always do that. True, I have seen several of those, but never could relate. When you look at me, then hear me speak, I know it doesn't all add up. I am not your ordinary and I am far from what you are use to. I decided to not be defined by the boxes. There were no boxes that I really fitted in. At that moment I embraced the art to not be able to blend but to be me. I get out, I get out of all your boxes!

Cupid's Got A Gun?

2010-12-06T20:03:00.001-05:00

Cupid's got a gun I heard someone say. They said Cupid's shot them with it. Cupid isn't a lover, he's murderer! The person said that Cupid watch them fall and stood over them while they hit the ground. They've experienced nothing but heartache and pain from all the ones that Cupid has sent. Who's to blame, does Cupid really have a gun?

Cupid's got a gun I heard someone else say. They said Cupid was tired of me hurting so he's guarding my heart. He is there to make sure i never get hurt again. Cupid said there were too many impostors trying to move in on me and love me falsely. It was time Cupid took action. Now Cupid has a gun and he is a protector.

Love's Hero !

2010-12-06T19:44:00.001-05:00

How do you know that the person you are calling "the hero" isn't the one for you or are you so caught up in thinking that you don't deserve a good man that you rather sit and dwell on the ex who hurt you and say now is not the time. Somewhat saying you don't deserve to be loved or treated correctly. Are you really saying that you deserve to be emotionally scared and abused and to constantly remind yourself of that pain. Now that someone has come along and recognized the treasure in you, you find something wrong with him because there is something still wrong with you. You haven't allowed yourself to let go and move on. Allow yourself to love and feel loved like you ultimately desire. Don't give the Ex so much control over your love life to the point you give him the authority to continuously make you punish yourself by not giving someone else a chance. You are your hero, so lets not label anything or anyone..you know what feels good and what is good for you. Just because he treated you like you were worth nothing but a bucket to fill with pain, don't let someone go who sees you are worth so much more. Let go, move forwad, try again......Love is a real thing! How can you get over and move on if you take no steps?

Friendship is key and time is patience,understanding and extremely unselfish. If your heart is broken ...FINE! We all been there before. What we tend to forget is that obviously they wasn't the one. If someone can enter your life and penetrate your mind and make you feel good...why push it away? Embrace what is of good and let go what isn't. Don't punish them because the ex mistreated you. You deserve better so now that it is here, don't act like you don't. Life is too short and it's not that often you find someone who truly cares. Don't feel sorry for yourself and consider you to be a victim and say this is only a hero act. Don't harden your heart now. All of the walls and games get you nowhere fast. Try being true with yourself and with whoever you meet. Be strong enough and mature enough to handle who you are emotionally. Don't deprive yourself what you really want ultimately...LOVE. And I guess you say how do you know this hero guy is the one? You don't, but if you want anything in life you need to be comfortable with risk and making a sacrifice.

Like I always say, how can you get to second base when your foot is still on first. How can you move on and get what is for you, laying around in everything that isn't.

Progress involves risk..................Take a chance!

No More Costumes!

2010-12-06T19:23:00.000-05:00

A person playing a role will eventually forget their act. Then the real them will appear. What image have you created and why? Who are you trying to be and how much of that is really you? When was the last time you dressed up and pretended to be who you weren't? Some of us dress up in nonchalantness to give the illusion that nothing bothers us when we are so sensitive. There are others who dress up as heavy sexually active people to pretend as if we don't want love. There are some of us who have dressed up in religion to make it appear that's the reason they are not happy being gay. No matter what your costume is, it isn't you. Do you really think you can go through life being something or somebody your not? We all came into this world bare without shame, self-hatred, self-disappointment, and self-abuse. Let's get back there when we knew love, we were love, we basked in love. Here is my costume of being a tough, aggressive, sexy love machine....but who am I really? behind that mask, without those black wings, without the body art on me. I am a masculine, sensitive guy, who desires to be loved and wants to love back. When you think about that what is so shameful...NOTHING!

You!

2010-12-04T20:53:00.001-05:00

The unimpersonated you is the real you!

Self Reflections!

2010-11-27T23:29:00.000-05:00

Take a moment and look in the mirror do you really like what you see? Do you like what you have become? Do you remember who you use to be? Do you remember who you planned to be? What's wrong with you? NO, no, no don't look away from you! Everything you need is right there...in YOU!

VIDEO: No Regrets

2010-11-27T22:40:00.000-05:00

Perfection Vs. Potential

2010-11-27T22:05:00.001-05:00

Honestly, who really looks for the rain after the sunshine? Tell me who really anticipates a disaster when things are going GREAT! I DON'T! Could it be that we are the one who subconsciously push away what we always wanted? Let me ask you a question. You ever met someone and it was all sparks and everything was dare I say, PERFECT. Then outside circumstances and situations caused you two to not be able to pursue the opportunities and possibilities of LOVE. I don't think there is enough curse words or enough things to kick or doors to slam to express the resentment to the idea of not being able to have what you feel you could have with this person. It's a big pill to swallow to unexpectedly meet that Special Someone dreams are made of and get close enough to feel the chemistry and crazy vibe between you two and then it has to end. I mean I'm talking about waking up and you think of them, in the middle of the day smiling thinking about them, late night conversations learning each other laughing and saying how you never want this conversation to end. Then tragically, you two can not continue down this road that was paved for REAL LOVE. Where do you go from here? Some people say you have to be patient. They say what's wrong with waiting for what's worth waiting for. Remember you met PERFECTION. Then you ask yourself at what point does me waiting turn into me being foolish and unrealistic.

Let's say Potential has become apart of your daily routine and then PERFECTION calls or text messages you. (remember this is who u wanted) Therefore there is some feelings still there, meaning you feel some kind of way when your phone alerts you for a call or text message and its them.

What do you do or how do you let go of something that you don't want to let go, should you let go and if so, why, and what about Potential? Did they even stand a chance coming behind PERFECTION, yet how perfect is PERFECTION if you two are not together?

You Are Not Your Mistakes!

2010-11-27T20:57:00.002-05:00

You are not your mistakes. You can't do this alone or pretend anymore. The illusion of comfort and denial or sacrifice is no longer yours. There's no shame in your suffering, no healing in silent self torment. It is here at the surreal crossroads of the soul search where truth meets overwhelming resistance and mind over matter. I can finally wake up, change my mind, let go of what no longer works. You are empowered by intense acknowlegdement. Your virtue is relief and recognition.

All Good Things Come to an End

2010-11-27T12:34:00.001-05:00

Things changed, people changed (for good and for bad). However, I grew. I learned alot about myself in the midst of getting to know others. I've come to realize I am a very passionate person about how I feel and what I want out of life and love. I can't be with someone who is not able to respond to not only my feelings but their own as well. One of the difficult things to do is let people go sometimes, especially when they are not a BAD people. Sometimes you have to let people go because they are just not right for you at this time in your life (friends, love interests..etc.). How do you say goodbye, when you don't have the heart to say goodbye. It's hard.

Another thing that I have learned is there are 2 types of people in relationships (Givers & Growers). I am a giver. When I approach someone of Good Energy I am so there. I am all about getting to know you. I INVEST my TIME & ENERGY to build a strong foundation with you in the hopes of possibly having a future together. Growers are people who are extremely cautious (non-risk takers). They rather play by the rules..like they won't allow themselves to feel what they are feeling if it's supposedly TOO SOON. I don't allow a timeframe to conduct nor control how I feel. Some people say what's the big deal if you a grower or a giver....well 9 times out of 10 the Giver is the one who would forever feel short changed. The Giver's feelings would rarely be reciprocated and who wants a relationship where you don't feel like your other half is in it like you are. Then its the old saying of it doesn't matter how you get there as long as you get there together. That's fine and all however I feel like this, we don't always have to be on the same page, but we do need to be in the same chapter.

Last thing...I never was looking for love or anything close to a romantic situation that would host feelings and emotions. However there is a difference between between someone saying I wasn't looking for this but I was open to whatever that may have happened versus someone saying to me I am in love with you and I never wanted this feeling. Personally, in the back of my head it would always play their words and say yes you are here, but you never wanted to be here (That is NO SECURITY) to me. Its almost as if you are doing something against yoru will which does not produce self happiness therefore you can't share happiness.

I haven't given up on love, NEVER will. But one thing people need to learn is just because you love someone doesn't mean you compromise your happiness or your peace of mind. Just because you love someone doesn't even mean that's the one you are suppose to be with.

Sometimes as you are learning and loving someone you may noticed that they are just not the one for you. It's okay if you get there but love yourself more than you love the idea what you thought you two could have had. Look at the bigger picture.

Call Me Crazy But..............

2010-11-25T02:32:00.000-05:00

I have accepted and I am okay with knowing I'm not the average dude. However, I question myself are my beliefs and thoughts so far fetched that I am a bit off for believing in this thing called LOVE. I have heard the fairy tale stories as well as the horror stories and I myself have a couple of my own. The crazy thing is no matter what has happened, my heart is still open to feeling emotions. I haven't become numb. Living from Memphis to Miami to Atlanta I have seen gorgeous people but never been impressed by the looks alone. Point is,,, many people can achieve looking good. The challenge is mentally, what do they bring and belief wise what are their core values and belief system made of. Those are the things that will sustain. Looks fade, change, hell you can buy new looks...point is that's not permanent. When the cover picture is taken and it's time to see who you are inside, will there be anything there to see. If there is anything there, will it be as appealing as the physical. On my end I find myself a total package (mentally, emotionally and physically appealing)...but some people get stuck on the physical alone. Never wanting to know the person who host this physical creation I have. In a big world we live in, it still amazes me how so many people can be so lonely. Over half of those people confess to be lonely and will say in the same sentence that they do not want anyone. Past loves and experiences have harden many hearts, the games people have played have now turned into tournaments. Yet, I still constantly construct myself for being a better man for myself as well as for the one created for me...wherever they are. I often wonder how many people talk the same talk I do and walk it. I'm pretty much like, Thanks for your physical hotness, but can I really get to know you. Can we talk about your philosophy on life and love. Not here for impression, but on a mission to complete my dream so that we can have what it is this world has to offer us. Call me crazy, but through it all I'm still hoping to come across Mr. Made 4 Me!

P.S. I still believe in love

Is Love Enough ?

2010-11-25T02:09:00.001-05:00

You really think you can get to the altar and then alter them?

If so then who are you really marrying, them or an idea of what you wish you was marrying?

When you are ready to settle down and get married, who wants to make a mistake of picking the wrong one..NO ONE!

If you were to ask most people why they are together, the answer would be more than likely because they are in love. Choosing someone that you want to spend the rest of your life should not be based on love alone. However, on the flip side of that Love is definitely the result of a good marriage or joining of two. Even though we've been told that love is the very reason two people should get together and marry, that's not honestly true. Now, sit there and think about the last time you broke up with someone and all you can say is I loved them, but it didn't work. If love was that strong alone then so many more people would be STILL together. The love was there but the other ingridients were missing from what is needed to form a strong, lasting union. You can't build a lifetime relationship off of love alone.

Ask yourself do we share a common life purpose? You're saying that you want to spend the rest of your life with that person..that can be a long time. I mean what are you two going to do for years to come..go to the movies, jog together, and travel ? You need to share something more meaningful and deeper than that. You need a common life purpose. There's always only 2 things that can happen in a long term relationship....you either grow together or grow apart. So why get together to seperate?

Expression and feelings are going to be an ongoing thing in a long term relationship. Ask yourself, are you really emotionally comfortable with this person. Emotional secuirty really can determine the quality of your relationship. Do you really feel safe being you, being emotional with this person? The basis of having good communication is all about trust. Do you trust that you can say how you feel without being hurt or punished for expressing your honest and true emotions. Ever saw an abusive relationships as one because you are afraid to express your feelings, let alone be you.

Someone said there are two types of people in the world. There are people who are dedicated to personal growth and those who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Anyone who's goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort before doing the right thing. Now if someone claims to be all about personal growth..how do they spend their time? Do they work on personal growth on the regular basis? Are they really serious about improving themselves. Oh and those people who are materialistic most times, hell all the time top priority is never character refinement. Once again, we're not talking about a date to the prom (those stuck on looks)..we're talking about someone you claim you want to spend the rest of your life with. So if you want someone who is going to do right by you, you may want to think about these things.

Something about giving that really tells a story. One of the main things that really make a relationship work is giving. Giving is about doing for someone else's benefit. You have to ask yourself is this person into giving pleasure to someone else or are they more self absorbed and concerned about their own pleasure. Some ways to pay attention to that trait: wait to you all go out to eat, how do they treat the waiter, or other random people that they don't necassarily have to be nice to. Do they have gratitude and appreciation when something is done for them? Life is a circle, please know that behaviour can travel so if they treat a certain group of people a certain way..you could be next!

Now, have you ever said I want to be with you but in your head you were wishing that something would change. Well, alot of us form unions with others and hope to change them or that they will change to be REALLY what you need. If you can not fully accept a person for who they are now, you may want to post pone you two becoming official.

When you are dating, it doesn't have to be crazy and draining. Think about who you are and where you going, Ask questions to see if they add up to be someone who you may share strong common interest. Close your eyes more...if you couldn't see them, would you still want them. Do you still feel the way you do when you are looking at them. Sometimes we're in love and we're in a relationship based on physical factors.

Falling in love is a great feeling, but what isn't is... when you are deep in something and realize that you are miserable because you didnt pay attention or you just wanted to be in love so Damn Bad and you're with a physically beautiful person with no substance of a strong relationship!

Some things that create a Strong Union
1. TRUST
2. COMMUNICATION
3. INTIMACY (this isn't always physical)
4. A SENSE OF HUMOR
5. SHARING TASKS
6. SOME GETAWAY TIME
7. DAILY EXCHANGES (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note)
8. SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS
9. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE
10. GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT

If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty and pain will replace the passion.

I'm sure you remembered when that happened !!!!!!

Honestly

2010-11-25T01:55:00.002-05:00

and I'm honestly like...what I dont know doesn't hurt me, but what does hurt is the fact that you'll do it..!

VIDEO: Same Type

2010-11-25T01:13:00.000-05:00

Do you find yourself falling for the SAME TYPE if so what is that type..and has THAT TYPE worked for YOU? Some of us has had the same relationship with 5 different people because they are all the same type. If you been doing something or some type and it hasn't work for you maybe it's time you try something different. If you have a successful type , pat yourself on the back that you have done what most can't and that's find what works for you.

Those 3 Questions ???

2010-11-25T00:17:00.001-05:00

When you are on your first date hopefully it involves the ability of you two holding a conversation. Now we all go on dates for different reasons (out of boredom, casually, or in hopes to find a mate) . I personally don't believe in wasting my time on a casual date and I am never that bored to just go on some random date. Currently a single man, I would date to hopefully find the one that I would marry and share my life with. I think that the first date can truly determine whether or not there will be a second one. I took out some time to really think about what 3 questions I would ask someone to determine if this person is someone I really want to see for a second date.

My 3 Questions:
1. Do you believe in God?
2. Are you seeing, dating, or talking to someone else?
3. What are you passionate about?
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Some other questions people found important ;

1.Does someone else think they're in a relationship with you?
2.Can you handle honesty?
3.Do u live with ur mama?
4.Whats your 3 year plan?
5.When was your last committed relationship?
6.‎Is this your only personality?
7.What do you like to do for fun?8.What kind of work do you do?
9.What's your proudest accomplishments?
10.What's the craziest thing you have ever done?

Rejection !

2010-11-24T00:45:00.001-05:00

Nobody likes rejection! When you have been rejected emotionally there are so many different emotions that follow afterwards. Some people feel anger, disappointment, and of course hurt. Honestly, is this a natural feeling or is this a programmed feeling? What should be your feeling? Someone said for every 5 no's there is that one yes that makes it all worth it. You gotta be in it to win it. Those who don't get in it for fear of rejection will never get that. So what's your mindset? I mean if you approach a person with the mentality that what is for you, is for you and what's not isn't will help you accept rejection a little more. When you can look at things in the bigger picture, the grand scheme of things you began to see rejection as a sign that there is something way better in store for you. At the end of the day who wants to be with someone who doesn't really want to be with you! I say reject me, and allow me to remain free and available for the one created for me.

A New Toilet ?

2010-11-23T22:50:00.001-05:00

If you are tired of the same ----, get a different toilet! How many times have you said I'm tired of having a job on the phones, but the next job you apply for is in a call center? How many times have you said I'm tired of being mistreated by people I am interested in, but you keep going after the same type? How many times have you said, I am not getting the results from working out, but your still doing the same routine that didn't work before? It's time for a change.

It's so easy to complain about life and its challenges but SO HARD to do something about it! It doesn't have to be that way. If there is anything in your life that is causing or bringing you anything but happiness, why not change it? The power lies in your hands. You are in control of you.

VIDEO: Making It Work

2010-11-22T23:54:00.000-05:00